Below is an excerpt from a short story I’ve written based on my novel, Ghost in the Park. It’s a supernatural thriller, in which our hero hears dead people. In novel length fic, I don’t fuss to much about the title, because it will probably change before publication. But this short is being submitted to an ebook anthology series, so the title will probably stick. Except that I don’t have a title. Because I suck at titles. Help! I think the following bit gives a pretty clear idea of what’s happening, but anyone who wants to read the whole thing, 3100 words, is welcome to let me know and I’ll send it to you. I’d rather not post the whole thing on my blog so close to submission.
“I’m fine,” I begin hesitantly. “But I need to tell you something. I sometimes have…flashes of insight…where I get pictures in my head of things going on in the world. I believe that I just experienced one that has to do with you.”
Officer Robinson, as I see printed on his badge, rolls his eyes at me and begins to turn away, his face showing his disgust.
“I’m quite serious, Officer Robinson,” I continue, standing straight and beginning to walk after him. “I saw an old garage, there were holes in the roof and dust everywhere. There was also a young girl trapped there.”
The officer turns back towards me, and I now see a touch of anger in his eyes.
“Steady old man,” Todd’s voice comes to me. “This guys looks a bit touchy.”
The guy in question seems more than touchy, and towers over my six foot by at least four inches. He looks twenty years my junior, and seems fit and strong. I am no coward, but a peaceable man by nature. Continuing to annoy this police officer seems the height of folly. Yet I cannot make myself turn away.
“She’s eight or ten. She looks like she’s been crying. The girl’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, pink with Hello Kitty on the front. Her hair is brown, in pigtails.”
Officer Robinson’s reaction is as swift as it is expected. In moments, I am laying face-down in the grass while Robinson cuffs my hands behind my back and reads me my rights. He then roughly pulls me to my feet and manhandles me towards his patrol car, which is parked on the nearby street. Students and fellow professors stare in shock. I find myself unbelievably embarrassed by being made such a spectacle at my place of employment, and worried about how to convince this policeman that I’m not completely mad
Time to Explain
Not bad suggestions. Thanks everybody!
Love it! How about plain ol’ ‘Listen’ ?
Not bad, and I like one word titles.